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You just wanted to be strong. You just wanted people to stop picking on you. You just wanted… you just wanted…Your hands are shaking too much to pull Mondo’s body down the hallway anymore. There’s blood everywhere, so much blood, so much blood, you didn’t mean for this to happen. He was so angry, and you were so scared, and what if he told? What if everyone made fun of you? What if they tried to hurt you? What if… what if…You just wanted him to stop yelling, that’s all. You just wanted it to stop. You just wanted…You take a deep breath. You can’t give up now, you’ve gone too far. You have to finish what you started. You have to be strong. You pull Mondo’s body down the hallway, and you stop crying. I’m sorry, Oowada-kun, you whisper, but you know it means nothing.Sakura doesn’t fight back when they accuse her of the murder. She’s the only one strong enough to take him, it has to be her. Asahina is screaming and crying no, no, Sakura-chan would never do that! Sakura-chan would never kill anyone! You stare at your feet the whole time and you almost say, I’m strong enough. You almost say, I did it, not Oogami-san. You almost say, I’m strong enough to take him.But you’re smarter than you are strong, and you say nothing.This doesn’t feel right, Naegi says. Why would Oogami-san kill him? But Monobear is saying, tick, tick, tock, time’s run out! Upupu, make your decision! You all stare at the buttons before you, the pictures of smiling students, and press your choice. You break down crying as you press Sakura’s picture, but you have no choice. You have to be strong. You have to be strong.Monobear’s laugh chills you like nothing else. Wrong choice! he cackles. Upupu, you idiots are so easily fooled! It was Chihiro-chan! I can’t believe you all fell for it!I’m sorry, you say, and it means nothing. The walls fall down and chains wrap around everyone’s necks. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You cover your face with your hands as they’re all yanked away. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t mean it for it to happen, I really didn’t.You have to be strong, you have to be strong. You have to stop crying. You have to see the outside world, you have to get help, you have to… you have to…You collapse to your knees and you don’t stop crying. You’re not strong, you’re not strong, and you never will be.
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Oh, Naegi-kun! You saved me! Sayaka runs over to Naegi and wraps her arms around him, cries into his shoulder. I was so scared, Naegi-kun! But you saved me…Her crying stops and she starts laughing, just starts laughing and laughing and laughing as she pushes the bloody knife into his hand. She looks at him with starry eyes and a bloodstained face and she can’t stop laughing, she just can’t stop. That expression of confusion, of terror, of betrayal, oh, oh, that just plays into her plans so well. He couldn’t be a better pawn if he tried.M-Maizono-san, I… I…The bell is going off, ding, ding, dong, and everyone’s going to be there soon. She pushes him away and he falls; poor little Naegi, dumb little Naegi, he’s too shocked to do anything. He’s too weak to do anything. Sayaka wipes the blood off her face with her shirt and takies it off before throwing it to Kuwata’s corpse. It lands right in his hand and perfect, perfect, this couldn’t be more perfect. She wraps her arms around herself, covers herself in mock modesty because oh no, a poor little idol so exposed, her image would be ruined, and the door busts open.Naegi, he’s the one covered in blood, he’s the one holding the knife, and Sayaka’s crying and saying, oh thank you, Naegi-kun! Kuwata-kun, he… he tried to…! She trails off sobbing and Naegi is looking at the knife, looking at Kuwata, looking at the other students, looking everywhere but at her, and oh, oh, she wishes she could laugh, how she wishes she could laugh.The trial goes swiftly and easily. Don’t kill Naegi-kun, he was just trying to protect me! And Naegi-kun says, I didn’t, I didn’t… and he’s still so shaken that Sayaka can barely take it. It’s only by all her years of acting, all her years of training in fake smiles and doe eyes and cute little pouts, does she manages to keep a straight face. No one wants to kill him, and Kirigiri keeps saying, this isn’t right, this doesn’t add up. But Monobear comes out, does his dumb little giggle and says, hurry up! Time’s out, hurry up!Sayaka reaches down to press Naegi’s button but her hand falters. She has to do this, she has to do this. She has to see all her friends, she has to see if that tape is true. She has to make sure everything’s okay. And these people… these people don’t matter. They’re nobodies. They’re insignificant and she’s important and popular and loved and… and…Sayaka cries real tears when she pushes the button.She sinks down and puts her head in between her knees and she can’t breathe and she can’t look at their faces and why is she breaking down, why is this happening, she had to do this, she had to. There’s the heavy clunk of the chains and when she looks up Naegi is staring back at her with empty eyes.Why, he whispers, and they’re all pulled away, all pulled away to die and Sayaka is alone, alone, she’s so alone.Sayaka puts her head to the wooden bars and tries to breathe, tries to calm down. It was all for good, she tells herself. She has so many people depending on her, she has so much to do. She has… She has…Sayaka curls into a little ball and wishes she had died instead.
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When they find Yamada, he doesn’t have a face—all that’s left is an empty skull with a few pieces of battered flesh hanging off of it. Kirigiri is the one who finds him, and when she walks out of the room she quietly asks everyone not to look inside. Kirigiri, white as a ghost; Kirigiri, voice no more than fog on the wind.Naegi checks, Naegi wants to help, Naegi sees a glimpse of the shattered corpse, Naegi goes and lies down in his room for a very, very long time.Pale Celes turns paler. Pale Celes loses all color, pale Celes turns pale as a dove, pale as steam, pale as a corpse. Pale Celes loses her poker face as fear flashes in her eyes and she tries to run far, far away.She doesn’t get far. She gets one, two doors down the hall before her screams ring out. The others run one, two doors down and there lies pale Celes, pale Celes turned red Celes, red Celes staining her clothes, staining the floor.Red Celes staining the hammer that goes crack, crack, crack down on her head.Ishida raises the hammer, Ishida slams the hammer down. Clean Ishida turns bloody Ishida. Bloody-faced, bloody-uniformed, Ishida waves and says, hello, fuckers. Bloody Ishida brings his hammer down again, crack, crack, crack. Bloody Ishida laughs, bloody Ishida says, would you like to join me?There is no trial. Naegi does not show up. Ishida does not wipe the blood off his face, does not wash his uniform. I did it, he says in a booming voice, all his white-stained-red teeth exposed with a grin. I did it, and I enjoyed it.Chains wrap around him and Kirigiri says, wait. Her is voice no more than a breathy whisper, her hands tremble. Why? Why did you do it?Ishida laughs. He throws his head back and laughs, and laughs, and laughs, laughs until the sound reverberates off the walls, laughs until their bones shift in their skin.His head hangs down. His voice shrinks. His laughter dies. I missed my kyodai. The chains pull at him but he stays rooted. I only wanted to see him again. His voice wavers, then grows strong, and he tilts his head up, eyes burning like the sun, burning like the stars, burning like never before.And now I can see him again! His laugh is back, louder than ever. I can see him in hell!The chains wrap around his arms, his legs, his mouth, and Ishida is yanked into the darkness. His barking laughter doesn’t leave the room for a long, long time. It never leaves their ears. They exit the courtroom and the world is silent as freshly fallen snow.They’re quiet for the rest of the day and almost all the way into the next until Hagakure asks if anyone wants pancakes and Asahina slaps him so hard the halls echo with the sound of her hand hitting his cheek.
