Work Text
Dean's POV
"Yes, Castiel?" Mr. Edlund says, relieved, when he sees that Cas has raised his hand again. The quirky teacher we've had since the beginning of the semester has difficulties explaining stuff, especially his own subject Math, and he's always relieved when at least one of the students gets it. This one student is usually Castiel."X equals 61, sir," he replies and I smile contently when Mr. Edlund looks down at his notes and nods thankfully. I'm not at all surprised. Cas is really smart. Like 'could tell you the weight of the moon in grams'-smart. I'm convinced he has straight A's all throughout the school year.I prop my head up on my hands and continue to watch Cas from across the room. I'm sitting in the last row on the right, since I'm not smart like Cas and don't want Mr. Edlund to ask me questions. Cas however is sitting in the first row on the left side, making us sit miles apart from each other (or so it feels like, at least). It's kinda sad actually, because otherwise, I'd be able to watch Cas thinking from up close. It fascinates me when he's thinking.His face scrunches up and his head tilts slightly and his eyes squint at Mr. Edlund, until he understands. And then, all of a sudden, his face lights up and he throws his hand up in the air, back straight and aligned with his arm... It's amazing to watch.Before you ask, no, I am not making heart eyes at him like one of my classmates once accused me of doing. I just like watching him. And listening to him. Because, seriously, his voice -which, by the way, is way too deep to belong to a freshman- always sounds so sure of himself. And well... let me just say that Cas has every right to be sure of himself because the little genius is just always right.Yeah, Cas is crazy smart... And I really want to be friends with him.Just once, I want Cas to turn around and catch me staring. I'd like to know what it feels like to have that curious gaze directed at me but so far, it's never happened. Cas is always attentive, only concentrating on what our teacher is saying, so he's never noticed me watching him until now. I should be glad, I guess. I might come off as creepy. But honestly, I'm only disappointed.Mr. Edlund asks another question. Cas's hand flies into the air, quick and steady, and I can't help but smile to myself happily.No, I am not gay, but I gotta admit, Cas is adorable sometimes. "Mom, you remember that guy Castiel I told you about, right?" I ask during dinner that night, for what feels like the hundredth time this week. I don't quite know why, but I keep bringing Cas up at the most random times. The majority of what I tell my family is nowhere near important either, but I tell them anyway for some reason. I just want them to know how awesome Cas is because he deserves that attention... Most of what I tell them anyway are funny stories, which really are only funny because of Cas's weird quirks and habits. He's a genius, but sometimes he's just so damn clueless."Yes, Dean, we remember. You talk about him almost every day," Mom smiles and I ignore the amused look Dad and her share because they don't know a thing. I'm not gay for Cas, I'm simply admiring my genius classmate's intelligence."Yeah, well, anyway," I start, unfazed by their suspicion. I've gotten used to them thinking I have a crush. "Today in English, Mrs. Mills used the phrase, 'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,' and Cas was so confused about it that he raised his hand and was like, 'Excuse me, madam, but what bridge are you talking about?' and Mrs. Mills was just like, 'A metaphorical one,' and she looked at Cas with that completely serious face and then she cracked a smile and then the whole class was laughing! And I'm pretty sure Cas didn't get why we were laughing and I almost felt sorry for him, but then I saw the annoyed look on his face and he, like, never looks annoyed, ever, so I had to start laughing again. He wasn't mad at us for long though; after a while he was smiling as well, so it was okay. It's just really weird, you know, how Cas can be crazy smart in, like, everything, but then he doesn't get simple metaphors."Mom smiles at me, amused. "Well, everybody struggles with something," she comments and I nod thoughtfully."I struggle with Math," I admit.Mom laughs slightly. "Believe me, honey, a lot of people do," she reassures me."Cas doesn't.""Yeah, but like you said, your friend is exceptionally clever," she says and winks at me slightly.I shift in my seat slightly and blush a little. "Well... actually... We're not really friends yet," I mutter hesitantly."What do you mean?" Mom asks and frowns, and I smile at her shyly."Well, I've never talked to him, so I don't believe I can call him an actual friend, you know?""Why haven't you? Talked to him, I mean," she asks curiously and I shrug."Dunno.""You should do it, honey. Just ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. He seems like a nice guy, I'm sure he'll be happy to be friends with you," Mom promises and I look at her skeptically."Okay..." I say, not convinced but ready to try. "I'll ask him then." I'm nervous.I don't know why, but I'm nervous.I'm gonna ask Cas to be my friend today... Not in those words, obviously, because how pathetic does that sound? No, I'll think of something better during Math and then, afterwards, I'll walk up to Cas and tell him, "Hey, be my friend?"God, that sounds horrible. I will have something way better by the time I'll ask him, I'm sure of it!Unexpectedly though, Math passes faster than usual, which is totally unfair because if I want time to go by quicker, it never does. But as soon as I need it -- whoosh -- gone."Um... Your -- uh, your homework will be on page 67, exercise number three..." Mr. Edlund struggles to say after the bell rang. Of course nobody listens to him, because seriously, the period's over, say it before the bell or stop talking altogether. "Then, uh... See you tomorrow, I guess," he mutters and leaves the room quickly.The other students are also on their way out already and I quickly turn my head towards Cas's desk. Good, he's still in his seat, packing his back and taking his time.I don't waste another second."Hey, Cas," I say and come to a stop in front of his desk. Cas looks up at me in surprise, slowly withdrawing his hand from his backpack and sitting up expectantly."Hello... Dean?" he asks more than greets, but I ignore it because, hey, at least he knows my name. We've never spoken a word and he still knows my name. It's amazing. (Also, Cas is tilting his head in that confused manner of his and it makes my insides feel all squishy. I'm convinced Cas just pretends to be oblivious all the time.)"So, I was thinking..." I start, realizing that I still haven't thought of a good way to ask him. I guess I'll have to improvise. "We should go out some time," I say before I can think about it for too long, just hoping my request doesn't sound too out of the blue.I don't realize just what exactly I actually say.Cas's eyes widen in surprise and he opens his mouth slightly, then closes it, then opens it again. He's silent for a few long seconds.Then, "You, uh..... Go out as in... You mean, on a... date?" he asks, frowning, looking more confused than anything else, and I feel myself blushing furiously. I didn't mean to say that!"N-No! No date, I-- I was... I actually wanted to say-- hang out, not... not what I really said... Um..." I stutter, not knowing how to explain my mistake to him because honestly, I don't know why I made it myself. Cas cocks his eyebrow skeptically and it seems like he's just about to say something, so I blurt out a quick, "Bye!", turn around and literally run out of the class room.Cas is watching me leave without another word. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life...I'm gonna try again tomorrow, I decide. Today just wasn't meant to be. Tomorrow will be it for sure. The next day, I sit down in my usual spot and wait for the rest of the class to arrive. Cas is not here yet but that's no problem because I'm gonna ask him after class again, not before. Everything's fine.As if on cue, Cas enters. His eyes find mine immediately and I feel hot and cold at the same time because all year, he hasn't once glanced my way when coming into the classroom. And then, I feel hot and cold all over again because Cas sends me one of his signature smiles. I can't even reciprocate and smile back because I'm too stunned.When I finally come back to reality, Cas has already turned away and sat down in his seat.Damn, I can't help but think. It's times like these that I wish I really was gay like everybody believes me to be.I barely hear anything Mr. Edlund explains the rest of the lesson, instead glancing Cas's way all period -- not like that's something new....Hm, I suddenly start understanding why I struggle with Math so much."Have a good day, guys," Mr. Edlund eventually says, before the bell rang this time. He's learned. Good for him. He's not hopeless.I forget about Mr. Edlund as soon as he leaves and stand up quickly. I walk over to Cas's desk, determined that I'm not gonna screw it up this time. I came prepared. More or less. Just don't say anything that can be interpreted in any romantic kind of way, is what I keep telling myself."Hey, Cas," I greet and Cas smiles surprisedly when he notices me."Hello, Dean," he says and I'm pretty sure he's wondering why I'm here again after I stormed off awkwardly just yesterday. Yeah, well. Apparently, I really want this friendship.Alright. This is it. This is the time, the time is now. Just don't say anything date-y!"Okay. So..." I breathe out. So far I'm doing pretty good. "See, Cas, I'm sure you remember that I came to talk to you yesterday," I start and Cas nods at me, expression neutral and curious."Yeah, and for some reason you ran off afterwards," Cas reminds me and I feel myself blush again."Yeah, well. I, uh... I had to be somewhere. They, uh... They were waiting for me, um," I stutter, but realizing how pathetic I sound, I change the topic quickly. "Anyway, I actually came to you yesterday because I wanted to ask you ou-- a question!" I correct myself in the last moment. Seriously? This happened again? "A very... um... important question.""You wanted to ask me out?" Cas repeats my original words and smirks knowingly, an eyebrow raised in genuine interest. I know my own face must be as red as a tomato when I struggle to defend myself quickly."No!" I disagree. "I wanted to ask you a question! Not out. It was a very important question ... that I wanted to ask," I say helplessly, but my mind is blank."Oh? Go ahead then," Cas says, and an amused and, if I'm not mistaken, slightly smug expression settles on his face. For the first time in almost a year I curse his cleverness.Suddenly feeling defiant, I cross my arms in front of my chest and press my lips together tightly. "Don't want to anymore," I decide and turn away from him to walk out of the room."Alright then. Talk to you tomorrow, Dean," Cas chuckles and no matter how hard I try, my pouting lips involuntarily curve into a smile at the sound of his amusement.So yeah, Cas is an asshole, I know that now, but in a weird way his new character trait makes me like him even more. I'm no less interested in becoming his friend and nothing -not even my stupid mouth- is gonna stop me from doing so. I just need to find the right way to ask him. "Cas," I say the next day, standing in front of his desk after Math."Hello, Dean. How are you today?" Cas asks conversationally, putting his stuff away casually. He stands up and puts on his backpack, then he grabs the three huge books lying on his desk and starts balancing them on his arms. His eyes are barely visible behind them.Determinedly, Cas nods in the direction of the door, indicating for me to follow him, and starts walking towards it. I comply quickly, dumbfounded."I'm-- I'm fine," I stutter, remembering his question, regarding Cas's weird 'book balancing'-thing with caution. These things look fucking heavy. And it looks like they might fall to the floor every second now. "Are you sure you don't need... Um... Can-- Can I help you?" I decide to ask."Yes, thank you," Cas says and dumps the books in my arms without warning. I can barely react before all three of the books are in front of my face, making it somewhat difficult to make out where Cas is going. Because no, of course he's not waiting for me to catch up with him."Cas, wait, where are we... Where are we going?" I ask, reluctantly following Cas, because really, I just want to ask Cas my question and go."My next class," Cas answers and sends me a quick glance, looking almost apologetic. "I'm sorry you have to carry my books," he says guiltily, "but you offered and they're very heavy and you're just so much stronger than I am," he tells me, an innocent look on his face, and I perk up slightly."Oh, it's no problem at all," I say proudly, thankful that the books are hiding my involuntary blush. Cas thinks I'm strong... "I don't know though, man, they don't feel all that heavy to me," I add, exaggerating just slightly, because damn, those books are straining my muscles already. "Uh... Just out of curiosity, how far's your class room?""We're almost there," he announces and a few steps later, he leads me into a still empty classroom. I let the books drop onto his desk and breathe out heavily. Thank God!"Thank you so much, Dean," Cas says, sounding genuinely thankful, and I smile at him happily."You're welcome, man.""So, are you gonna ask me your question today?" Cas asks all of a sudden and I frown at him confusedly."Uh... Oh, yeah, of course," I say, remembering that I still haven't asked him to be my friend. This time I decide not to think about it too much and just ask. I mean, it can't go wrong a third time."You know, you just seem pretty cool, so I decided to ask you if you wanted to be my boy-- my friend! God damn it! M-My friend, who is a boy... Uh," I try to save myself but Cas is already laughing heartily, not stopping until he feels me glaring at him angrily."Would you please stop laughing?" I ask grumpily. "So I said 'boyfriend' on mistake, it's not what I meant, so stop making fun of me, please!"Cas's laughter is coming to a slow stop, his shoulders still shaking even when he's calmed down enough to speak. "I'm s-sorry, it's just--" he starts, wiping away a fucking tear. "It's just that this has happened for the third time already and I just don't know what to say anymore," he grins. "Don't you think your subconscious is trying to tell you something?" Cas adds and winks at me.I gulp slightly but don't answer. I've kinda been wondering about the same thing actually, not that I'm gonna admit that to him. Not right now anyway."No, shut up," I pout. "See you tomorrow."I leave. The next day after Math is over, I'm ready to put my plan into action. Well, it's not much of a plan, actually... The only thing it involves is me giving Cas the note I've written just a minute before."Cas," I utter to get his attention. Cas looks up at me, a playful smile on his face. His eyes are really blue today and staring right into mine."Dean," he imitates me and then puts an obnoxious smirk on his face. "Are you here to accidentally confess your crush on me again?" he jokes and laughs. Oh, he thinks he's so funny."Actually," I start, grinning back at him cheekily. I can see that my lack of an annoyed reaction throws Cas off a little. "I'm here to confess my crush on you completely on purpose," I say and hold out the piece of paper in my hand.Cas frowns at me, not sure whether to laugh or take me seriously, but seeing the slightly nervous smile on my face, he decides on the latter. He takes the note hesitantly and unfolds it slowly. It doesn't take long for him to read it.
Will you...
O hang go out with me?
O let me ask you a question out?
O be my (boy)friend?
Cas is laughing. Hell yeah, he's laughing and he looks all happy and disbelieving and it's the greatest reaction to the note I probably could've anticipated. Especially when he reaches inside his pencil case to take out a pen and checks all three of the blanks."You're impossible," Cas says when he hands back the note."Impossibly cute, yeah, I know," I say and wink at him. "See you after school today?" I ask and Cas nods without hesitation."It's a date," I say and smile one last time before I leave.Well. I guess Mom has been right all along.